On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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