i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
