She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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