you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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