The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
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I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
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She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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