I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I want her autograph on my taint
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
