I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
