piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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