we have officially lost it.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
