I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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