Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
