Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
