if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
