eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
