Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
