I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
