This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize