BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He shit in the fireplace
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
