Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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