bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
