Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
