Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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