What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
