I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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