Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
