Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
