look no pants
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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