It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
