I'm eating all of the evidence.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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