you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So many bounce houses so little time
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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