Porn is love you can see.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
