You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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