I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
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My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
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I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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