Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dignity is for republicans.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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