I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
this is an emotional support booty call
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
