I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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