Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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