there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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