remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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