My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
