dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
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Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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