The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
