i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Are we still banned from the library?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Randomize
