i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dignity is for republicans.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
