talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
They took my balls.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
