She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
