dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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