She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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