So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
