I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
