Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
