The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
