definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
