i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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