you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
