I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
