"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
