She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
