I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
