we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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