Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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