i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
