no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
