we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
