I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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