so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
